How We See Ourselves and the World

Experienced of losses can create grief reaction. Grief is associated with life and death, especially sudden death as unexpected death.
Many of us are unable to cope when loss occurs, and unpreparedness can prolong the mourning process. These things affect how we see ourselves and the world, and we mourn for what has gone.
Depression and sickness, guilt and anger are common symptoms of grief, and it’s important if we mourn for any sort of loss to avoid sickness or instability. The better people understand the bereavement process, the better they will be able to cope with loss.

There are many responses to grief and everyone reacts to it in an individual manner.
The stages of mourning process generally:
SHOCK, numbness and disbelief are usually the first responses as mind’s way of protecting self from to much bad news all at once. Person in shock should be protected as they are in vulnerable state, postpone to take major decision is advised.
DENIAL. Adjustment to an overwhelming realty, a refusal to face the fact.
INTENSE EMOTION, overwhelming emotion such regret and longing for what has been lost.
BARGAINING can be express in a litany of ‘if only’, if only I didn’t flirt he won’t go away from me.
DEPRESSION.
ACCEPTANCE, learn to live with loss is take time. Every individual must work through grief at their own pace. People cope with grief can be affected by many factors:
· How prepare were you for the news
· Relationship with the deceased
· Accompanying changes
· Your health and state of mind
· Access to a support network. The presence of loving friends and relative can resolve grief
The important thing is to remember that there is always a way to experience and express grief. The best you can do is to offer support whatever form grieving may take.

How Men Grieve?
They grief by giving sometimes to their feeling alone. Can be manifested in ways such as anger or being very active.

How Children Grieve?
Showing the symptoms of grief by regress such as thumb sucking, bed wetting, tantrums, misbehaving, clingy and insecure.
Encourage children to talk about their feeling and be ready for questions and try to answer honestly. Don’t conceal your own sorrow from them and don’t be afraid to involve them in healing ritual such as funeral.

The day will come when the clouds will lift. You are on the way to recovery when you can think of the deceased without crying.

The Toll Taken By the Grieve
Stress and Disease. Stress suppresses the immune system; make us more susceptible to infection and disease. Depression, as a normal part of grief.
Loss of Identity. Happened to women who lost her husband.
Loss of Self Esteem, for those who has marriage breakdown.
Differing Reactions, the difference how each individual relates to the loss?
Normal or Abnormal Grieving. Abnormal grief reactions when the survivors are unable to progress through the state of grief but stuck at particular phase.

As well as denial another stages of the grieving process may also come into anger, “Why Me”. If the survivor is experiencing pain and other distressing symptoms particularly survivor may become regressive and childish, querulous, demanding and plain unpleasant to deal with. Overtime, survivor may lapse into depression and finally achieve a degree of acceptance of the situation.
Try sitting quietly with survivor, either silently or in conversation, just as survivor choose.

Things That Can Help

You cannot restore what has gone, in the case of other kind loss, might hard to believe, but there is something you can do to work with your grief by:
Viewing and touching the dead body before burial will help you acknowledge realty of dead.
Should involve in the funeral arrangements.
Write a letter to express all the things to the deceased.
Make some soft symbolic statement of how you hurt.
Express your feeling with talk about the deceased, mull over memories and put their relative’s life in perspective.
Use bereavement counsellors to help develop coping strategies and generally assist and expedite the grief work.
Join the group of bereavement people.
Don’t make an important decision.
Postponed all decisions that can be postponed.
Give your self time to thing what you really want and need.
Do not offer food for comfort nor lacking in appetite.
Do not drown your sorrow by chemical or alcohol.
Exercise and relaxation program may lessen the enormous stress.
Pay attention to your self, comfort your self as you would others with little treats.



Source: Loss and Grief, dealing with life crisis
By Megan Gressor